I haven’t been very productive lately. In truth, 2011 has been a bit up and down so far. I’ve had back trouble, my grandmother passed away and my ex-boyfriend… well, we’ll just say that he didn’t help. It now looks like I’m going to lose my job because I won’t be going back any time soon. I was only a probationary employee so after three months I will lose the bulk of my sick pay and at some point they will cut it off altogether. Yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown through sheer frustration at three months of pain and no life. After that I got the latest email from my ex.
Today I feel a lot better. I’m not sure why, but I can make a guess. This blog’s byline is “Tempering the steel and never giving up.” I am going to name it Tempering the Steel because I finally realised that that is what this year is all about. Now, don’t get me wrong. 2009 and 2010 were not walks in the park. I decided on 31st December 2010 that 2011 was going to be my year. But success doesn’t come out of nothing and I am right at the beginning of my journey. I still have a lot of work to do.
I know how to write but I’m not necessarily at a publishable standard yet. Now is the time to hone my abilities. I need to write: books, short stories, novellas, in order to refine my craft and that is what I am going to do.
This time last year I had huge financial problems, massive family fights and a somewhat problematic relationship. Now all of those problems have been eliminated, leaving me free to continue with my writing journey unimpeded. Everything happens for a reason and I have to believe that all the crap of the past was just steps on the road towards my perfect future.
A friend of mine is studying criminology. She’s going to be a criminal profiler. She recently lost a lot of weight. Even more recently she dumped her boyfriend and hooked up with a replacement three days later. It occurs to me that this was possible because she is happy. She is on the right road towards her perfect future. She is happy that she is undergoing the correct process, that she is doing what is necessary in order to get to where she wants to be.
This is what I want to do. Yes, there are things about my life at the moment that I am not enjoying, but actually I am right where I need to be. Being where you need to be, however, is not the same as doing what you need to do. I am in the right place to do what is necessary, i.e. write and write and write, so I am just going to have to do that.
Now, on a different note, albeit the same general subject, I need a slimming buddy. I need to drop about 35lbs (that’s two and a half stone to English people) and I would like someone to be accountable to while I do it. Any takers?